Thursday, September 17, 2015

Acetaminophen, now that’s a drug I could get addicted to

I have been suffering from allergies basically the entire time I’ve been in the Midwest even though I’ve never had them before in my whole life. I blame corn and Monsanto, but that’s not the point.  One of my friends in Tulsa who was sick of listening to me breathe like an asthmatic offered me some Nyquil. I reluctantly took it, not knowing that it works for allergies, I had always thought it was for nighttime sniffling sneezing coughing aching stuffy head fever so you can you can rest and have a good morning medicine (WOW! whoever wrote that commercial should get a bonus because I haven’t owned a TV in over a decade)…. ahem, I thought it was for colds….  My breathing got normal again for the first time in at least weeks, I can’t even remember now, and I had crazy dreams that I also cant remember now followed by clear normal breathing for a few hours in the morning 
A few days later I’m in Illinois meeting with another friend before my next show and after going out to eat we go stop by a grocery store so I can buy some Nyquil.  I cant remember when I took them, if it was in his car on the way home or if I had waited until I got back to the RV, come to think of it, I cant remember anything after the grocery store!  I realized that I had absolutely zero recollection of the previous night when the next night I’m looking for the box and I can’t find it.  I looked everywhere and tore my RV apart like a freaking crack head looking for this stupid stuff before surrendering and going to bed anyways. I found the box 2 days later when looking for something else (isn’t that how it always happens?)
So even after basically blacking out at 7 pm and acting like a druggie the next day combing every inch (except for the actual inch where it is) for these magical little green gel capsules, I take it again.  You cant put a price on a good nights sleep I guess.  That night, I had the craziest most realistic dream. 
I was in my RV which was my office of some kind and the guy who does my aluminum printing named josh (whom Ive never met but I’ve spoken to on the phone a hundred times) was an employee of mine.  It was fairly late and Josh came into my RV to say that he was going home, we are chatting briefly before he goes to leave and by this time some guy in an orange-red paisley button down shirt has come into the RV and sits in the seat just behind the driver’s.  I whisper to josh to get rid of that guy and he walks over to him on his way out the door, grabs his shoulder like you would to a drunk person you’re trying to lead to the bathroom or out of your party and he refuses. Well he tried, then failed, so Josh just leaves, and I get up and tell this guy that he needs to go and walk him out the side door.  I lock the door behind him and then reach up to the drivers and passengers doors to lock them as well.  When I turn around to return to bed, I look out the door and the guy is standing outside looking straight in and he has a pistol  just where I can see it slightly above his belt. At that point I do a quick brainstorm and realize there is absolutely no way that I can get out of this alive and that’s when I woke up.
 It spooked me so much I couldn’t get back to sleep for at least an hour. But I guess that’s what happens when you binge watch Criminal Minds and eat one of the ingredients of Meth before bed.    

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